The Useless Majors (Comedy)








July 2020
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 It's here finale! Episode 10 'Unpresidented: Politic-Talk-Boom,' or 'Minor Setbacks, Major Beginnings.'

Following the events of episode 9, the entire UMU (Usless Majors Universe) is stuck. They have all been quarantined to the Marbleton High gymnasium, a designated safe zone, while the Jinglehammer destroys the town.

Yes, the fabled Jinglehammer has been summoned (accidentally, by Mr. M), and after escaping the Marbleton Volcano, is wandering around the town, destroying everything in his path, searching for something. But for what? What's a but for what? Find out!


As this goes on, drama, lies and misunderstandings threaten to destroy our heroes from within:

Zwayne, afraid to face his destiny, continues to stall in any way.

Manny, suffering a cramped style, does anything he can to hide from his father Mr. L.

Patrick, feeling abandoned, has not been able to leave the stage. Without his friends around, he takes out his anger on the demanding captive crowd of heroes, villains, and regular citizens the only way he knows how: with music. Victor doesn't like this side of Patrick.

David, barely surviving the booby-trapped dance-off with Evil Al, and attack by 200 bees that followed, has taken some much needed time to think about his life, the people in his life, and what he needs to do.

BRE and Sheena have hit a bump in their relationship. If Sheena could stop being so stubborn, and BRE could get her eye-lamps fixed, maybe they could see where the other is coming from.

And finally, Anne. Following the suggestion she got from her idol Broad Daylight, Anne is doing everything she can to resolve her friends' problems and form the Superhero team that she knows they could be, and that Marbleton really needs.

Can she succeed in time to save the town from the Jinglehammer? Let's hope so!


Meanwhile, the President-Elect Thomas Duke, AKA The Villainous Alpha-Bat, works with Alfredo to write an acceptance speech, unaware his victory is one of the final pieces to Kaufman's evil plan for World Domination.

.....A plan that does not involve Tommy, a plan that could seal his fate.

But one man knows this, and is on a mission to save Thomas Duke and stop Kaufman before he can destroy/take over the World.

....Unfortunately, that man is the senile, kooky Randall 'The Duke' Duke.

Can he save his son and thereby, the World?

Find out on the Season One Finale! Enjoy!



#uselessmajors  #uselessmajorspodcast  #season1finale  #unpresidented  #jinglehammer  #girlsandcatfarts  #prezduke



The Useless Majors podcast was written, recorded and edited in St. Louis, Missouri by Jordan Starcrash and Miles Jenks.

Starring Jon Kirner, Anna Drehmer, Joe Roeder, Jon Booker, Samuel Rupe-Smith, Miles Jenks and Jordan Starcrash.

Guest starring in this episode: Gael Jenks as Sheena the High School Weeyach, Loren Jenks as Shawna the Weeyach Mom, and Mark Willey as Mr. Heyman, Cockney Villain, and The Leper-Cauhn



Follow us on social media!,, and on twitter @uselessmajors


Music in this episode:
"Young Abe Lincoln" and "Don't Forget Who Your Friends Are", performed by Bunnygrunt, provided by Pancake Productions, and "Angel" by Suicide Queen.


Special thanks to Robert Severson and Pancake Productions, and to Kay Dolores of Suicide Queen.

Also to our amazing cast, who have done such great work this entire season, and to our incredible fans, who have patiently dealt with our lack of a release schedule.

Look out for Season 2 in the nearish future!


And always, please rate and review! Thank you!

Direct download: Episode10Finished.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:18pm CDT

The title says it all! This is the last showrunners' discussion of Season 1!


The finale is coming very soon, and we have a few things we wanna talk to you about!

So check it out! You'll laugh! You'll cry! You'll sneeze! 


#uselessmajors, #uselessmajorspodcast, #seasonfinale, #pretzels, #fanficplease

Direct download: finalsrdSeason1.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 11:29am CDT

Sometimes you just need to escape, am I right?

For example, sometimes, your town is being destroyed by the Jinglehammer, and the entire town is evacuated to the High School gym, the very same High School gym where you and your friends were trying to relax and enjoy yourselves.

We've all been there, as have our heroes.

So, what do you do in those situations? Watch TV, of course! And that's exactly what they do in Marbleton, too. 

Please enjoy the 'Shows' one-off!


Season One Finale coming soon! Stay Tuned!

#uselessmajors #uselessmajorspodcast #reelectionmatch #prezduke


Follow us on Social Media!

twitter @uselessmajors


Please Rate and Review!

An *NSFH Production


Direct download: Shows.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:02pm CDT

The Useless Majors podcast was written, recorded and edited in St. Louis, MO by Miles Jenks and Jordan Starcrash, and stars Miles Jenks, Samuel Rupe-Smith, Jonathan Kirner, Anna Drehmer, and Jordan Starcrash.

Guest Starring in this episode: Jonathan Booker as Marlin Perkins and Abe the Giant, Joe Roeder as Patrick McDonald and John Adams, Gael Jenks as Sheena the High-School Weeyach and Other Guy 1, and Robert Severson as Evil Al and Cultist


Prepare yourselves for the penultimate thrill of the season!

What was that rumble? What's going on here? Do you have a minute (or 45) to talk about Evil?

While Zwayne is stuck at theatre, dealing with a ravenous influx of villains and Jinglehammer cultists, the rest of our heroes find themselves at the Marbleton High Gymansium for the annual Tomorrow-Day Night Dance!

Spike Ambrose, leader of Marbleton's premiere punk band Spike and the Other Guys, is left in the lurch when he's kicked out the band (and his van is stolen), leaving Patrick McDonald to scoop up the slot as entertainment. Is he prepared? You might be surprised! ....might.

While working hard to avoid any work at all, Manny stumbles upon a secret, exclusive ghost party, and runs into a few old friends, while others forego their invites (that they totally received) to save the World from.... you guessed it... Evil.

Anne, trying to prove herself as being 'cool', has been implemented into a plan to help Sheena The High-School Weeyach sneak out of her house to attend the dance with BRE, while David is focused on breaking up Evil Al and Honey Bae at any ridiculous cost.

Think a booby-trapped high school dance contest HAS to be a visible gag? Prepare your ears to be WRONG! Yes, both of them, even the right one.


It's all fun and games until everyone forgets about a Presidential Election! And this time, it may really cost us!

For once, I'm not gonna spoil it, not even as a joke.

Prepare yourselves to enjoy!


#uselessmajors #uselessmajorspodcast #whatsgoingonhere #quincy #allmajors



The Useless Majors was created by Jordan Starcrash

Follow us on social media:

twitter @uselessmajors


Music in this episode:

'Had a Clue' and 'I Can See It Now' by William Godfred

'Master Plan' by Pretty Little Empire

Follow Pretty Little Empire on Social Media:

twitter @prettylittleemp


Also listen to them on iTunes, Bandcamp, and Spotify!

They have featured songs in Demetri Martin's new movie "The Last Time You Had Fun", which is now streaming on Netflix! Check it out!


And, as always, PLEASE RATE AND REVIEW! (especially on iTunes)

Direct download: Episode_9.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 1:36am CDT

After finally, FINALLY getting home from the Volcano, and his lil' misadventure with Manny, Patrick and Mr. L, David finds 2 messages waiting him on his answering machine.


....Or is he? Let's find out!


#uselessmajors, #uselessmajorspodcast, #dylo, #2millionbees, #showdownathighschool



Follow us on social media!

twitter @uselessmajors


Please Rate and Review!

Direct download: HoneyandDavid.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:38pm CDT

Real quick, listeners: Ever wonder who it was, like, forever ago Alfredo said he ACTUALLY works for? Remember that? Me neither, of either.

But f'real, after the vicious attack by Betty Duke, Senator Kaufman has found himself incapacitated and laid-up in Marbleton General Hospital, face unrecognizable under the layers of bandages, trying to get a moment of peace to plan his next move.

Little does Kaufman know he has surprise roomie joining him; Mortimer Duke! 

Yes, the prodigal twin brother of Randall, and beloved uncle of Thomas Duke, AKA The Villainous Alpha-Bat, has come to Marbleton under ridiculous circumstances, and finds himself in Marbleton General Hospital under equally (or greater-ly) ridiculous circumstances.

Will Kaufman be able to conceal his identity from Mortimer? Or will Mortimer outsmart him?

Bearing in mind Mortimer is a Duke, I think you can guess.




#uselessmajors  #uselessmajorspodcast  #mortimerandkevin  #kevinbandages



Follow us on social media!

Twitter @uselessmajors


Direct download: MortimerandKevinCF.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:11am CDT

Let's ring in the new year with our favorite silly shape-shifter Manny Hinojosa!

After a day of drinking and goat-on-ghost action at the zoo, Manny and Patrick were not expecting to end up at the Marbleton Volcano. Nor were they expecting to ride home with Manny's father and Patrick's "grandfather", Mr. L.

To keep up this ruse, Manny is gonna need all the help he can get! But who is going to answer the call? How is Manny going to pull this one off? Let's find out!

Remember to keep Good Manny's Company!


#uselessmajors, #uselessmajorspodcast, #mannyscompany2, #breadmanager, #roughriders


Follow us on social media!

Twitter @uselessmajors




Direct download: mannysco2.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 2:27pm CDT

The BroadCast; A superlyabled look at pop culture and politics.

Today on The BroadCast, cohosts Broad Daylight as Ira Gl*** discuss Senator Kaufman's evil call to action, as well as his recent hospitalization. Later on in the program, Spaghetti the Clown will be on to discuss his controversial "Sliced Jesus" remarks at the Presidential debate. 


The Useless Majors podcast is written, recorded, and edited in St. Louis, MO by Jordan Starcrash and Miles Jenks.

Follow the Useless Majors on social media! Like us on facebook at, visit, and on twitter @uselessmajors!


#uselessmajors, #uselessmajorspodcast, #theBroadCast, #thetwiddler, #hotsaucelatte, #LarissaOleynik

Direct download: Broadcast.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 1:26pm CDT

The w8 is over, here is much-anticip8ed and long-aw8ed Episode 8!

......apologies for that.

Anne is dealing with some serious self-image issues, mainly pertaining to how she is being treated by David at work.

But when famous parody artist Evil Al appears in town, and invites himself to Honey Bae's school dance as her date, David spirals into complete illogical dumb-buttedness. Why should Anne even care what David thinks? Let's find out!

Following Betty's instructions, Randall 'The Duke' Duke has set out on his quest to the Marbleton Volcano to stop the Misters from destroying their relics, followed closely behind by his son Thomas Duke, AKA The Villainous Alpha-Bat, who is determined to stop his Father's quest short, and also stop the Misters from destroying the relics in the volcano.

Wait, that's the same quest, isn't it? *Sigh* Classic Thomas Duke.

Wait some more, Kaufman needs the relics TO BE destroyed! Can Kaufman stop the both of them from ruining his Evil plans? Betty and Randall could be in danger, if so! I guess you better listen to find out!

But Randall 'The Duke' Duke and Thomas Duke, AKA The Villainous Alpha-Bat, aren't the only ones racing to Mco and the Marbleton Volcano; The Misters are dealing with their own silly speed bumps while transporting the relics for destruction.

As is Zwayne, who is transporting the slightly intoxicated Patrick and Manny from the Zoo to Mco. Joining their troop are the ghosts of Marlin Perkins and 'Macho Man' Teddy Roosevelt, who have both promised to share the grandest secret of their ghostly realm, as long as Zwayne can get them the Chalupacabra.

Can he do it? Can any of them do it? What is it? Why don't ya listen, weirdo!

And pay attention, this episode is totally vol-canonical! Waka waka!



#uselessmajors, #uselessmajorspodcast, #volcanoparty, #isitBEESyoourelookingfor


The Useless Majors podcast was written, recorded and edited in St. Louis, Missouri by Jordan Starcrash and Miles Jenks.

Starring Jon Kirner, Anna Drehmer, Samuel Rupe-Smith, Miles Jenks and Jordan Starcrash.

Guest starring in this episode Gael Jenks as Sheena the High-School Weeyach, Kay Dolores as The Chalupacabra, Joe Roeder as Patrick McDonald and Radio Anchor, Jonathan Booker as Marlin Perkins, Other Bill, Marbletainment Tonight anchor, and Senator Kaufman, and Robert Severson as Podcat Meoward Catsell and Evil Al.

Follow us on social media!,, and on twitter @uselessmajors


Music in this episode:

'Fart Stain' written by Jordan Starcrash, performed by Googolplexia.

'Baloney Aloney' written by Dubb Nubb, performed by Googolplexia.

'Summer Good, Summer Great' written and performed by Googolplexia.


Check out Googolplexia online at, and on to hear Googolplexia and lots of other great artists.

You can also go to to follow Googolplexia and lots of other amazing artists. Available right now from Pancake Productions is the 'Pancake Pieces Pancake Sampler', a 2-disc, 50 track compilation of Pancake Production artists for $10!

They're going fast, and supplies are limited!


Thanks guys! Rate and Review!

Direct download: Episode8fifi.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:52pm CDT

It's Laundry Day at the Duke Household!

Laundry day has always been a very dangerous day, but especially so when you find Senator Kaufman's evil master plans in his pants! Betty Duke will have to stop these plots, and proceed with much trepidation and tactful caution....

..or send her senile husband to do it. Cuz, ya know, everyone's got chores!

Will Betty's counter-measures stop Kaufman in his tracks? Or is the World, as usual, doomed?

Ya better listen up, I reckon! Enjoy!




Follow us on social media:

twitter @uselessmajors

Direct download: episode7point5.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 1:55am CDT

Fear not, impatient listeners! Episode 7 is here!

The Evil machinations of Senator Kaufman have plagued the Good Misters of the 26 Chambers with past failures and embarassments they hoped to forget, and one such relic has shut down operations at M.Co for the day.

You know what that means...... DAY OFF FOR ZWAYNE! What shall he do? Save the World, or veg out?

I guess we'll see what happens when our hero Zwayne joins Patrick, Manny, and 'Macho Man' Teddy Roosevelt in a little day-off merriment, and lot of stuff with Goats!

Clandestination: Marbleton Zoo!  Agenda: Turtles! (And maybe some margaritas)

Meanwhile, at the Mall, David is set to start training Sheena on concessions, but Sheena has other plans.... that may or may not (but totally do) involve texting with her BFF Honey, David's girlfriend. Bum bum BUMM! 

How will David proceed?! Wisely, one hopes! He doesn't want to look like a total Hamcat here!

Enjoy, foolish masses!




The Useless Majors podcast was written, recorded, and edited in St. Louis, MO by Miles Jenks and Jordan Starcrash.

Starring Jon Kirner, Anna Drehmer, Samuel Rupe-Smith, Miles Jenks, and Jordan Starcrash. 

Guest Starring: Joe Roeder as Patrick McDonald and Blind Customer, Jon Booker as Marlin Perkins and Other Bill, Gaela Jenks as Sheena, the High-School Wee-Yach, and Kay Dolores as the Chalupacabra.

Music in this episode by Miles Jenks.

Opening theme 'No $$$ Left' by The Virgin Scare. Closing theme remix by Tristan Williams.

You can follow the Useless Majors on Social Media! (And we'd love it if you did!)

twitter @uselessmajors 




And, as always, please rate and review! (Especially on iTunes)



Direct download: episode_7.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 1:25am CDT

There's no question that it's debating time!

Beaming with confidence, President Jello Biafra gets ready to square off in the Ovaled office against Thomas Duke and Senator Kaufman in a no-words barred ('cept the cursy-bad ones) debate-battle to protect his pride! 

But is it really going to be the easy win he anticipates?

We've got Ira Gl***, Broad Daylight and Spaghetti the Clown here to give you the play-by-play and some colorful commentary!

Grab the blindfolds and shut it!

Here is The Duke vs. Biafra debate!

Direct download: The_Debate.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 11:47pm CDT

The Useless Majors are back from summer break to bring you Episode 6: "Blowback to School" or "Debating the Hook"

We pick up the action 6 months after the events of episode 5.2. Benjamin Franklin is at the end of his ghostly rope with Zwayne, who has made no progress in decoding his father's cryptic message about the fate of the world. 

Thomas Duke, AKA the Villianous Alpha-Bat, has been encouraged by the mysterious senator Kaufman to run for Presidant on a platform of Evil Rights. This can't be good. Literally... because they're evil. 

Back at the Pebble Forest Cinema, the turnover rate continues to grow, Manuel badly needs a nap, and nobody seem particularly concerned with the dubious future of the world. 

Will Zwayne get off his butt? Will Thomas Duke take to politics? Will anyone at the theater care about any of it?

It's time to find out! 

The Useless Majors Podcast stars Anna Drehmer, Jonathan Kirner, Jay Bonzano, Samuel Rupe-Smith, Jordan Starcrash and Miles Jenks.

Guest starring Joe Roe as Presidant Jello Biafra, Sean McDaniel as Senator Kaufman, Gaela Jenks as Sheena the Highschool Wee-yach and Other Guy 1, and Kay Dolores as The Chalupacabra 

Theme song by The Virgin Scare, end theme remix by Tristan Williams. 

You can hear other work by Tristan Williams as Blaster Master at

Spike and the Other Guys' music courtesy of Stinkbomb. 

You can follow Stinkbomb on facebook, or visit their website for tour dates, cds/ merch, and crazy third thing!

Find us online at @uselessmajors


Hope you love the show! Please Rate and Review!


Direct download: Episode_6_final.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 11:47am CDT

The Useless Majors Podcast is written, recorded, and edited in St. Louis, MO by Jordan Starcrash and Miles Jenks, and starring Jonathan Kirner, Samuel Rupe-Smith, Jay Bonzano, Miles Jenks, and Jordan Starcrash.

Guest starring Anna Drehmer as Jane Raine-Smith, Cara McHugh as Emily White, and Sean McDaniel as Senator Kaufman.

Music in this episode: 'The Heart Train' by Jordan Starcrash and Miles Jenks, and 'Don't Ever Find Me' by Dubb Nubb.


Enjoy the midseason finale of The Useless Majors Podcast!

The feels are huge in this one, cats and kittens! And drama is abound!

At M.Co, our down-trodden CEO Bill Roberts *ahem*, I mean Mr. M, has finally had enough of Thomas Duke, AKA The Villainous Alpha-Bat, and with suggestions from Mr. V and Hartog Hamburger, begins to consider an exit strategy from The 26 Chambers. 

But amdist this, his head of PR, Jane Rain-Smith, receives as mysterious package, opening both old and fresh wounds.

Can she keep it a secret from her son Zwayne for very long?! Not if we have anything to say about it!

And our heroes? What about them?! We need them to have a show!

Anne and Manny are left on their own at the theatre with B.R.E., with everyone else going to Patrick's gig, and must struggle to keep up with the oh-so very demanding job of being concessionist, lest they concede to being replaced with machines!

Luckily, a face from their extremely recent past shows up as their saviour!

And lastly, Patrick's gig!

We have finally arrived to Patrick's gig, where he is more-or-less ready to perform the song he wrote with his 'grandpa.' But David isn't making this any easier, and his selfish attitude has finally got Patrick to the breaking point.

Is this the end of their friendship?! Doubtful! But listen, it might be! *Zap*

Get onboard The Heart Train! Choo! Choo!


Follow Dubb Nubb online at, and on bandcamp at!

Follow The Useless Majors on social media: Facebook at, Tumblr at, and on Twitter @uselessmajors!

The Useless Majors was created by Jordan Starcrash.

Please rate and review always!





Direct download: Episode5point2donezo.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 4:16pm CDT

This is the Return of the Fly on the Wall!


Let's return to the Duke household for another family dinner!

This time, Thomas Duke, AKA the Villainous Alpha-Bat, is still grounded to his rock-shelter room while his mother and father sit down to a pleasant meal with their loyal butler Alfredo, and his brother Linguini.

Spaghetti is absent, not shockingly, so they try to make the best of the situation with some wine, some dino-nuggets, and more than a few surprises.

Guess what is coming to Duke Family Dinner! YOU ARE!



Like us on facebook at, and follow on social media, twitter @uselessmajors and tumblr at!

Direct download: DFD2.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 5:30pm CDT

The Useless Majors Podcast is written, recorded, and edited in St. Louis, MO by Miles Jenks and Jordan Starcrash, and created by Jordan Starcrash.

Starring Jonathan Kirner, Samuel Rupe-Smith, Jay Bonzano, Miles Jenks, and Jordan Starcrash. Guest starring Cara McHugh as Emily White.


The day after the 26 Chambers' Business Conference of Evil, the fall-out is extraordinary; activists clog the parking lot at the Pebble Forest mall, protesting the threat of Evil in their community while praising Spaghetti the Clown for his role in creating the truce amongst Misters.

But what of the truce? How safe are any of the Misters? Or Thomas Duke, AKA The Villainous Alpha-Bat?

There is trouble a-brewin' in the rock-shelter as the Alpha-Bat tries unsuccessfully to reach Mr. M, only to have have a rude awakening when his father shows up to dole out punishments. Whuh-oh!

Is everyone in danger?!

Our heroes! Are they in danger? And how much? Do they even really understand anything that is happening? Probably not, there are more important things happening.

Like Patrick has his first music gig in a long time tonight!

David is being a real jerk to everyone while focusing his attention on some mystery girl!

And Anne and Manny are stuck with its newest employee: BRE, or Best Robotic Employee. Needless to say (but I'll say it anyway) they better step their efforts up, or be BREplaced by machines!



Like us on facebook at, and follow us on twitter @uselessmajors and on tumblr at!

Direct download: episode5point1.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 11:24pm CDT

The Useless Majors Podcast was written, recorded and edited by Jordan Starcrash and Miles Jenks in St. Louis, MO, and starring Samuel Rupe-Smith, Jay Bonzano, Miles Jenks, and Jordan Starcrash. Guest starring Jonathan Kirner as Manuel Hinojosa.

Everyone loves Manny, especially in a classic sitcom formula! It's 'Manny's Company, 4's a Crowd!'

In this episode, Manuel's father Ernesto Hinojosa (AKA Mr. L, of Mucho More Luchador Taco Corporation) has come over to his apartment to have dinner with our prodigal hero. 

But uh oh! Manny forgot! And tonight was the night Anne came over to finally work up the nerve to tell Patrick she like-likes him!

This messy situation will have laughs-a-plenty as Manny tries to find his way through a tangle of deception, and make sure his dad never finds out he doesn't have a real job yet!

Enjoy, folks!


Like us on Facebook at, and follow us on twitter @uselessmajors, and on tumblr at!

Rate and Review!

Also! Catch our livestream holiday spectacular on Dec. 23rd at 3pm Central time! 



Direct download: mannyscoFINAL.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:50pm CDT

The Useless Majors Podcast is written, recorded, and edited by Jordan Starcrash and Miles Jenks in St. Louis, MO.
Starring Samuel Rupe-Smith, Jay Bonzano, Miles Jenks, and Jordan Starcrash. Guest starring Anna Drehmer as Mr. U, Mr. B, Jane Raine-Smith, and Gorgeous George Washington.
The Business Conference of Evil is upon us, folks, and The 26 Chambers are locked and loaded to straighten out this concept of 'Evil Business' once and for all.
Unfortunately, Thomas Duke, AKA The Villainous Alpha-Bat, is also pretty loaded, and it takes no time for this conference to go off the rails. 
What will this mean for Marbleton? Or the World? Who knows!
Luckily we have Ian Fleming and his team of ghost spies here to survey the goings-on. Or totally goof-off, we'll see.
Ready yourself for Episode 4: Conference Room B Royale, or Game of Chairs Part 2: The Red Meeting!
Thank you for listening to the Useless Majors Podcast! Check us out on Facebook at, and our twitter and tumblr links can be found there!
Direct download: episode4final.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 2:41pm CDT

Let's go back to that Tuesday, yet again, and with a vengeance.

Thomas Duke, AKA the Villainous Alpha Bat, is drunk. Following his experiment with being a 'average working Joe', Mr. Duke, err, Joe, has gone a bit off the rails.

After Alfredo eventually calms the drunk super-villain mogul with the radio, and the soothing sounds of 'This American Strife with Ira Gl***', Thomas Duke dreams of a simpler time; his 16th birthday.

Here he remembers secrets long since locked away in the back of his mind. Things like Kevin, the origin of his hatred for Spaghetti the Clown, and crazy third thing! 


And there's entertainment galore while we follow Thomas Duke into his dark and silly past!

Have a listen, yo!


And come find us on Facebook at, plus our Tumblr and Twitter pages/feeds are there!

Direct download: DrunkDuke.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:24pm CDT

Ever want to know what happened at the end of Episode 3? When Anne caught Manny and foiled David's plot? If so, here ya go, weirdo!

Let's jump back to that fateful car drive. It's Tuesday, some time around 2:30. 'This American Strife' is on, and Anne must find her way to the mall, after a not-so devious Lobster-turned GPS-turned Manny has gotten her quite lost.

Manny unveils David's "brilliant" plan to stop her from interviewing for Shift Manager at the Cinema, and a beautiful/ridiculous friendship blossoms between the two jobless superheroes.

Take a listen!


Ask your GPS to direct you to Facebook to like us on, and Tumblr and Twitter from there!

Direct download: anneandmanny.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 1:04am CDT

NSPR (No Soap Public Radio) presents This American Strife with Ira Gl***, an in-depth roundtable discussion about Evil in America.


In this episode, Ira invites The Hooded Samaritan, Miniature Pony Man, and Broad Daylight to discuss the shifting climate in America towards Evil, covering topics such as The 26 Chambers, Senator Kaufman's proposed Evil Rights Amendment, and the inherent Evil already in America.

Guests defend their often confusing/confused points of view about what constitutes Good versus Evil in America, and Ira invites you to take a listen to what is likely a total circus of political misunderstandings and silliness!


This is NSPR, No Soap Public Radio.


Find more UM madness on Facebook at, linked there are our Twitter and Tumblr pages/feeds!

Direct download: ThisAmericanStrife.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 8:56pm CDT

Miles and Jordan have some important announcements! But mostly are silly. 

Listen! Learn! Be Amused!


More silliness on Facebook at, plus our Tumblr and Twitter links are there!

Direct download: UMShowerunnerdis2.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 2:05pm CDT

Written, recorded, and edited by Miles Jenks and Jordan Starcrash

Starring Samuel Rupe-Smith, Jay Bonzano, Miles Jenks and Jordan Starcrash. Guest starring Jonathan Kirner as Mr. M's assistant and Manuel Hinojosa, and Anna Drehmer as Jane Raine-Smith and Podcat Anya.


Lotta stuff!

Mr. M is roped into assembling a last-minute business conference for the CEOs of the 26 Chambers, while Thomas Duke AKA The Villainous Alpha-Bat tries his hand at being a normal guy, an average working Joe. Oh, bosses. 

And Zwayne's ghost-whisperer/janitor senses are tingling, and to uncover the Evil goings-on at M.Co, enlists the help of 'The World's Greatest Spy', only to find him to be just the world's greatest....something..


Meanwhile, at the Mall, our heroes David and Patrick enlist the help of Patrick's roomie, Manuel Hinojosa, to stop Anne Treebourg from coming to interview for Shift Manager at the Theatre.

Seems like Manny's shapeshifting would make for some clever disguises, right? Let's find out....


Tell us what you think on Facebook at, and our tumblr and twitter links are there, too! 

Direct download: ep3edit_Miles.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 1:14pm CDT

Be a fly on the wall in the Duke household for a family dinner, where Betty and Randall Duke attempt to ask their son Thomas (AKA The Villainous Alpha-Bat) about his day, and how his new job is going.

I can't stress 'attempt' enough, people!


Enjoy the Duke Family Dinner..... (100% unscripted)


More content and silliness available on Facebook at, plus our Tumblr and Twitter feeds are linked there!

Direct download: dukedinner.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 9:32pm CDT

Written by Jordan Starcrash and Miles Jenks.

Starring Samuel Rupe-Smith, Jay Bonzano, Miles Jenks, and Jordan Starcrash. Guest Starring Anna Drehmer as Jane Raine-Smith, and Jonathan Kirner as Mr. M's Assistant.


Episode 2 follows another of our heroes, Zwayne, in his (forced) quest to find a job.


Sure, he'd rather sit around all day, using his history degree to hang out with ghosts of historical figures that he can see, and watch wrestling on the tube, who wouldn't?

But his mother Jane, as any loving mother, and PR for a large company, would do, she gets Zwayne an interview with her boss Mr. M.

Can Zwayne help his mother and Mr. M defeat Evil, with the help of Benjamin 'The American Dream' Franklin, ?

Will he even get the job, daddy? I don't know! Freakin' listen!!


Guess what, turkeys! You can follow us on Facebook at, and tumblr and twitter info is there too, baby! We want to hear from y'all!

Direct download: Episode_2.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 9:22pm CDT

Non-episode episode:

Showrunners Jordan Starcrash and Miles Jenks take a minute or five to discuss the process of making the first episode, everything they learned from it, and how the future of The Useless Majors podcast is brighter for it.

And the importance of rating and reviewing on iTunes!

And Jordan fiddles around with a broken keyboard.


Find us on Facebook at, and more content of Jordan and Miles messing around on Tumblr and Twitter can be found linked there! 

Direct download: talkiething.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 4:32pm CDT

Episode 1: 'Nothing Rhymes With Origins', or 'Enter the 26 Chambers'


Written by Jordan Starcrash and Miles Jenks. Starring Samuel Rupe-Smith, Jay Bonzano, Miles Jenks, and Jordan Starcrash. Guest starring Jonathan Kirner.

This premiere episode reveals the origins of how our heroes came to eventually be The Useless Majors, and how they got their superpowers. 
How will they (mis)use them? For Good? Or Evil?

Meanwhile, control of the World-renowned Duke Corporation has been passed to Thomas Duke, AKA the villainous Alpha-Bat. Will this spell disaster for us all? Find out!

We want to hear from you all! Like us on Facebook at, from there you can find us on tumblr and twitter, too!

Direct download: Episode_1_remaster.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 5:17pm CDT